WELCOME TO THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF TRIPPING OLNEY’S 2013 MLB SEASON PREDICTIONS.

TEAMS ARE LISTED IN ORDER OF PREDICTED FINISH WITHIN THEIR DIVISION.  THERE WILL ALSO BE A BRIEF ANALYSIS OF EACH CLUB.

NOW TO KEEP YOU FROM SCREAMING AMERICAN LEAGUE BIAS AT ME, I’LL MOVE ON TO THE NATIONAL LEAGUE WEST.

NATIONAL LEAGUE WEST:

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

GIANTS FANS HATE WINNING SO MUCH THAT THEY BREAK SHIT

–          THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS HAVE WON TWO OUT OF THE LAST THREE WORLD SERIES, AND MY GUESS IS THAT BRUCE BOCHY COULD HAVE CALLED A PLAY THAT WOULD HAVE WON THE SUPER BOWL FOR THE 49ERS.

LOS ANGELES DODGERS OF ANAHEIM

VICTORIA BECKHAM (ABOVE) WAS SIGNED BY THE DODGERS THIS OFFSEASON FOR 3 YEARS AND $30 MILLION AFTER THEY FOUND OUT SHE HAD A PULSE.

–          MORE IMPRESSIVE: NED COLLETTI’S ONGOING ATTEMPT TO MONOPOLIZE BASEBALL PLAYERS, MAGIC JOHNSON BRUSHING OFF HIV LIKE A COMMON COLD, OR THE FACT THAT THE DODGERS AND THEIR $4.7 BILLION PAYROLL AREN’T GOING TO WIN THE DIVISION? 

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS

HEATH BELL COMBINED WITH THE ARIZONA HEAT WILL PRODUCE ENOUGH SWEAT TO PROVIDE WATER FOR SEVERAL THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES.

–          THE ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS TRADED THEIR BEST PLAYER AND ARE REALLY HAPPY WITH THEIR BULLPEN ONE-TWO BELLY FLOP OF HEATH BELL AND JJ PUTZ.  DESPITE THEIR BRIEF PLAYOFF RUN IN 2011, A RIVAL EXECUTIVE TELLS ME, “AS LONG AS BEANE KEEPS SWINDLING THEM, THEY WON’T HAVE ANY SUSTAINED SUCCESS.”

SAN DIEGO PADRES

HERE’S CAMERON MAYBIN DOING SOMETHING STUPID.

–          THE PADRES SUCKED LAST YEAR AND MOVED LATERALLY THIS OFF SEASON.  PERHAPS THEY SHOULD FOLLOW THE POPE’S LEAD AND QUIT NOW.

COLORADO ROCKIES

I’M UNWAVERINGLY CERTAIN THAT WHOEVER WROTE THE LAW TO GET POT LEGALIZED IN COLORADO ALSO CAME UP WITH DINGER.

–          THE ROCKIES PUT A WORD LIMIT ON MY POST ABOUT THEM SO I