WELCOME TO THE FOURTH INSTALLMENT OF TRIPPING OLNEY’S 2013 MLB SEASON PREDICTIONS.

TEAMS ARE LISTED IN ORDER OF PREDICTED FINISH WITHIN THEIR DIVISION.  THERE WILL ALSO BE A BRIEF ANALYSIS OF EACH CLUB.

TODAY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL, THE SADDEST DIVISION IN BASEBALL.

NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL:

CINCINNATI REDS

DUSTY BAKER LAUGHS MERCILESSLY AS HE DESTROYS ANOTHER PITCHER’S CAREER

–          THE REDS HAVE THE FACE OF MLB, JOEY VOTTO, IF YOU ASK MLB NETWORK VIEWERS, EVEN THOUGH HALF OF CINCINNATI WOULDN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE JOEY VOTTO ON THE STREET. THEY WILL WIN PLENTY OF GAMES, AT LEAST UNTIL DUSTY BAKER RIPS EVERY PITCHER’S ARM OFF. FUN FACT: DUSTY BAKER IS DR. JAMES ANDREWS’S FAVORITE MANAGER.

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS

LANCE LYNN

–         DESPITE A SECOND PLACE DIVISIONAL FINISH, THE CARDINALS WILL GO ON TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES AS THE SECOND WILD CARD THANKS TO A GAME SEVEN COMEBACK CAPPED OFF BY AN INFIELD FLY GRAND SLAM BY PETE KOZMA, WHICH WILL MAKE STILL-RETIRED TONY LARUSSA WEEP UNCONTROLLABLY BEFORE TRYING TO CHANGE PITCHERS.

MILWAUKEE BREWERS

THE 2013 BREWERS BULLPEN

–          MILWAUKEE WILL GET AN EARLY SEASON BOOST WHEN IT IS DISCOVERED THAT RYAN BRAUN IS, IN FACT, CLEAN, AND WAS MERELY PLACING AN ORDER FOR PEDS ON BEHALF OF ONE OF THE RACING SAUSAGES. THEN THEIR BULLPEN WILL PROCEED TO GIVE UP EIGHT UNANSWERED RUNS AND THEY WILL LOSE.

PITTSBURGH PIRATES

2013 PIRATES ALL-STAR REPRESENTATIVE “LET’S GO PIRATES GIRL”

–          THE PIRATES WILL WIN THE WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR…IN MLB THE SHOW. THE REAL-LIFE PIRATES WILL SUCK AND ANDREW MCCUTCHEN WILL CRY HIMSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT.

CHICAGO CUBS

A PAIR OF DIEHARD CUBS FANS WATCH AS THE TEAM’S OPENING DAY LINEUP IS ANNOUNCED

–          THEY ARE THE CUBS.